If you loved me, you would. . .

In this talk, Bruce Di Marsico discusses issues in love relationships. In this part, he outlines the problem, and in the next study guide, the solution.

The only reason lovers split up is because they fear the unhappiness. They either fear not being loving enough to prevent their partner’s unhappiness, or not being loved enough to prevent their own unhappiness.

Those lovers who fear unhappiness will propose proofs that they are not loved: “If you loved me, you would do this, that, or the other, or be some way.” These “proofs” are all false proofs.

The root issue is fear of the other’s unhappiness; that is, not allowing others to be unhappy. As a result of this fear, lovers try to motivate those they love by either giving them what they “need” to be happy (so that they will always be happy), or “punishing” them for being unhappy (so they will “learn” not to be unhappy). Both paths are destined to failure.

Option Method – If you loved me