Wanting to be unhappy to the right degree/Wanting vs. Needing/Not knowing what you want/Shame/Getting Happier

Bruce Di Marsico sums up the attitude of the happy person about his or her future and past.

He discusses social norms about the right degree of unhappiness in many situations. For example, when a student receives a low grade, the teacher often expects the student to be mildly chastised, not either cheerful or suicidal. Many people who seek help for unhappiness feel they are not being unhappy to the socially “correct” degree, and want to be unhappy in the “right” way.

He describes “wanting” as being happier if you get it, and not unhappy if you don’t, while “needing” is being unhappy if you don’t get it. And, in comparing, for example, wanting to drive home safely and needing to drive home safely, we find that needing doesn’t add any effectiveness to wanting.

For the happy person, the most interesting question is “Now what do I want?” And if you don’t know, wait and watch what happens. Eventually, you will find that you want to sleep, eat, or do some other natural human function.

Relative to the past, true forgiveness of yourself is knowing that there’s nothing to forgive. The point of the Option Method is not that we should be happy. Whatever you were in the past, now you can enjoy getting happier.

Option Method – Wanting vs Needing