Loving, and wanting to love
In this talk, Bruce Di Marsico continues his discussion of issues in love relationships. In the last study guide he outlined the problem, and in this study guide, the solution.
In a relationship, you can know that either the other is wanting to love you, or does not. When people say “I love you”, especially when in the midst of an argument (desperately: “but I love you!”), they often mean that they want to love you.
Fear in relationship is generally that the other doesn’t even want to love you.
Loving can be defined negatively as not believing someone is the cause of your unhappiness. Loving can be defined positively as wanting someone to be happy (not happy because what I give them or not, but unconditionally). Putting these together, we find the full meaning of Loving: wanting someone to be happy, and not fearing their unhappiness.
When someone doesn’t want to love you, or you don’t want to love them, there is generally no question about how to proceed with the relationship. In general, then, there is no relationship.
Option Method – Wanting to love